Easing Into the Darker Months

 

Empathy, Self Compassion and Self Care for Positive Mental Health

In my therapeutic work, I’m often seeing themes and patterns with different clients. In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a collective shift of mental health and physical issues, including increased fatigue and sudden flare ups of chronic pain, auto-immune issues and compulsive behaviors. I’ve noticed it in myself as well, with more aches and irritability and less energy and desire to get out of bed.

This week a client shared something her doctor had shared with her, which is a phenomenon referred to as the October Slide. It is described as a common decline in mental and physical health or well-being experienced in October due to seasonal changes and other factors, including less daylight hours, decreased vitamin D levels, colder weather, increase in viruses and stress on the immune system, plus the impact of going back-to-school, political elections and the upcoming holiday season.

In therapy sessions, I see it showing up in so many forms: chronic pain flaring up, compulsive behaviors resurfacing, exhaustion deepening, or old patterns around food, control and negative self talk becoming louder. There’s a kind of heaviness that moves in with the shorter days, and many of us feel it even if we can’t quite name it.

We’re also approaching Mercury in retrograde, which seems to increase emotional dysregulation. Whether or not you believe in astrology, there is a slowdown that comes with this season. Things get messier, slower, and more tender.

a road with trees on the side

 

Photo by Mykyta Kondratov on Unsplash

Seasonal Grief and Emotional Shifts

Not everyone experiences grief or depression in the same season or in the same ways. Some people, such as myself, also feel grief and anxiety in the summer, when everything should feel light and easy. Due to fires, drought and grief, summer now feels heavy. Others notice their energy crash as winter approaches, when the cold, darkness, and upcoming holidays stir old wounds or intensify grief, loss and loneliness. Lucky for me, I experience both.

The reality is that change and transition are hard for most people. We’re cyclical creatures living in a culture that resists cycles. Nature rests, animals hibernate, and the earth slows down, but we’re expected to push through as if nothing changes. Autumn into winter is a time of surrender, release, harvest, clearing, rest, dormancy, and death into rebirth. Our productivity should adjust with the daylight, yet capitalism, social media and internal pressures rarely allow for that.

forest heat by sunbeam

 

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Compassion Over Judgment

This season is an invitation to validate what’s hard instead of judging it. The body slows down for a reason. Energy dips for a reason. You are not lazy — you’re responding to the natural rhythm of the earth.

Offer yourself acceptance and gentleness. Replace shame with understanding and empathy. Normalize the universal truth that this season brings both beauty and challenge. You are not alone in that experience.

a table with a book and coffee cups on it with a window in the background

 

Photo by hello aesthe on Unsplash

Stress, Rest, and the Need to Soften

This time of year tends to bring more stress — social, emotional, and physical. There’s the pressure of the holidays, the weight of darker days, the body’s natural fatigue. Rather than fighting it, it helps to lean in with empathy and self-compassion.

Some gentle ways to support yourself right now and resources that help:

Seasonal self-care shifts – Adjust your routine as daylight fades: rest more, move gently, and allow slower mornings. Get outside for a rainy day walk or bundle up, sit on a bench and watch the leaves fall.

Warm rituals – Heating pad, Epsom salt bath, warm tea, cozy blankets, candles, even a faux fireplace— anything that signals warmth, safety and rest.

Sound nourishment – Listen to sound baths on YouTube or ambient healing frequencies while resting, a simple way to regulate your nervous system at home. (notice his cat!)

Self-Compassion Course by Jack Kornfield – A free offering for deepening self-kindness and emotional awareness. I absolutely love JK and his gifted ability to share Buddhist wisdom and psychology.

Evening Gratitude Journal- Use the following prompts from Positive Psychology to increase positivity and decrease our natural negative bias:

 

    • What went well today?

    • What self care did I practice today?

    • What made me smile?

    • What am I grateful for?

    • What are my aspirations for tomorrow?

    • Any reminders, thoughts or ideas?

Prayer or reflection journal – Keep a notebook for prayers, reflections, or small notes about this time of year; track your inner seasons and patterns.

Creative calm – Try paint-by-numbers , coloring, or something low-pressure and tactile like potting plants.

a pair of hands holding a heart

 

Photo by Anastasia Voronina on Unsplash

Closing Thoughts

Let this be the season of less judgment and more compassion and kindness turned inward. More understanding and less pushing because we think we have to be productive to be approved of. When we honor the slower pace of winter, we give ourselves permission to align with what’s natural and trust our bodies and brains to adjust as needed.

You’re not falling behind — you’re simply in rhythm with the world turning inward.

 

 If you feel like you need some additional resources, please reach out to me for some therapeutic support. I’d be happy to meet for a free consultation to discuss your needs. 

If you are in crisis and need immediate care, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. Or the Multnomah County crisis line at 503-988-4888. Please take care of yourself.