Self Care Basic Necessities for an Overwhelming World
If you are like me or any one of my clients and colleagues, you are overwhelmed with life. Work, social life, health and wellness, family and kids, social media, the news. It’s just too much to manage these days.
And what suffers the most? Often our basic self care needs. Trust me, I understand. The last few years have been chock-full of grief and loss, moving, becoming a therapist during COVID, not to mention the insane state of politics in our country and the world. Since the 2024 election results (and possibly all the way back to 2016), I feel like I’ve been living inside of a vat of molasses. Even the simplest of tasks has felt impossible at times. And I know I am not alone.
It’s Not a Moral Failure.
Over the last few months, I have attempted to stay on top of my basic needs. This includes showering, brushing my teeth, making doctors appointments, not skipping meals, drinking enough water and taking a daily walk. It has not been easy to maintain even the simplest of care tasks. My clients often share that they either don’t have the time or energy to either. I’m not sure any of us have fully recovered from the pandemic. I can’t tell you how often I hear that basic hygiene is being ignored or laundry and dishes are just piling up. It is not a moral failure. I repeat…it is NOT a moral failure! It’s just the cost of living during these insane times. So why even bother? Why is Self Care even important?
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Self-Care Basics
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a well-known psychology theory by Abraham Maslow that explains what motivates people. Although it is argued that it is outdated, I believe it still has merit in explaining how humans, once basic needs are met, can meet other life goals. It’s often shown as a pyramid with five levels:
- Basic needs: food, water, rest, and other essentials for survival.
- Safety and security: feeling protected, stable, and supported.
- Love and belonging: relationships, friendships, and social connection.
- Esteem: confidence, respect, and a sense of accomplishment.
- Self-actualization: personal growth, purpose, and reaching your full potential.
The main idea is simple: you must meet your basic needs before you can focus on higher-level goals like confidence, purpose and meaning, and personal growth.
In terms of self-care basics, this means that things like eating regularly, getting enough sleep, and creating a safe environment aren’t just “nice to have” — they’re the foundation of mental health, stress management, and overall well-being. Once these needs are met, it becomes easier to focus on building healthy relationships, boosting self-esteem, and creating balance in your life.
Back to Basics.
- Sleep
What is the number one complaint I hear from clients? Feeling exhausted and never feeling rested enough. Sleep is the most important need we have. Without enough sleep, we risk depression, anxiety, overwhelm, challenges with behavior, emotional control, decision making and judgement, not to mention the physical health risks. We need 7-8 hours of good sleep. Basic sleep hygiene, such as turning off the phone and media an hour before lights out, taking a warm shower, writing a quick journal dump, reading for pleasure and meditation can help. I am also an avid nap taker. A mid-day rest is a great way to practice basic self care. Below are a few of my favorite practices to help me fall asleep.
Jack Kornfield Meditations and Heart Wisdom
- Food for Life
It is so easy to skip a meal, binge on something easy or order in off one of the many delivery apps. No shade here to the apps, if that is what it takes to eat regular meals, then do that. There are also mail order delivery food services, although I have not tried any, but I have heard good reviews. Whatever it takes and you can afford, to be sure to eat at least two full meals a day. Food prep is on another level that meets basic eating needs, but if you are the type of person who can put aside an afternoon to food prep, you have my respect.
Getting enough water is also of much importance. It is so easy to stick with coffee or other caffeine-full drinks, but not getting enough water can impact many mental health issues, like depression, anxiety, fatigue, irritability and confusion, in addition to physical health risks. In summer, I like adding a little lemonade to my water bottle to make the water a bit more palatable and in winter I drink warm water. Whatever you need to do to get some more H20 into your routine, do it.
- Hygiene and Cleanliness
While taking a bubble bath may come to mind when the subject of self care comes up, more often than not just a regular hot shower is as effective for many who struggle with basic hygiene. No shame. When depression and overwhelm take over, there is a dissociation that can occur with the physical body and often it doesn’t feel important or necessary. However, an easy way to calm the nervous system and return to a baseline, grounded state is by engaging in a long, hot shower. What once felt like a regular part of a day’s routine now can feel like a chore.
And what about the pile of dishes and laundry that keep amassing, week after week? I have found that having a set day to do laundry really helps. Fridays are my day. I also try to vacuum, clean the litter box and change sheets on Fridays. But if I don’t, is it the end of the world? It can feel like a failing but its not. It just means I will do it another time. If it is feeling impossible to tackle the entire pile, then sort out the needed items and do a small load. Same with the dishes and any other tasks that feel daunting. Prioritize and simplify.
So now what?
Rather than shame yourself for what you’re not doing, ask yourself what you are already doing and give yourself some praise. If you are doing the bare minimum, don’t worry. You can increase your water intake today. You can take a shower or brush your teeth tonight. One day at a time, one thing at a time. If there is something that is speaking to you from the above list, focus on that one thing. Use habit stacking to add it to your nightly routine or morning routine. If you don’t have a routine, this could be a good time to begin creating one. I have found that having a routine reminds me to handle the basics that often disappear without structure. Get an accountability buddy to create more support and connection. And don’t forget a healthy dose of self compassion, for all that you do and all you don’t. During these busy and heavy times, when everything can feel like a chore and all you want to do is get back into bed, give yourself grace for the little things you do accomplish.
What self care habits, routines or structures have worked for you? What habit stacking tricks are you implementing? Please share any tricks you have developed for self care and care tasks.
If you feel like you need some additional resources, please reach out to me for some therapeutic support. I’d be happy to meet for a free consultation to discuss your needs.
If you are in crisis and need immediate care, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. Or the Multnomah County crisis line at 503-988-4888. Please take care of yourself.
